Selfish or responsible?

Just a few days back C had gone to play with a kid who refused to share his toys with C. At the time C looked really injured but he would do the same. And the other kid’s mother got really flustered. And she started scolding the boy and telling him all about the virtue called sharing and being unselfish. I do the same with C. But sitting and listening to another harassed mother suddenly brought out a light in my head (yeah like ‘toing!’ and then a light bulb visulalization would let you understand exactly how I felt). I was just thinking that maybe we put too much emphasis on this saring and self less routine. I mean no kid likes to share his or her toys – and it’s not just because they are selfish. I mean c’mon…do they even understand what being selfish is all about? I would like to think that being possessive about their toys is just the beginning of respecting their own things. The reason they want to share is possibly because they feel that the other kid will somehow spoil it. And i feel that by scolding them and talking about being selfish and all that – we are just managing to confuse them. I have stopped feeling flustered every time C refuses to share his toy with someone cos I know he does it because he loves his toys and he understands that it is his responsibility to keep it in one piece. Before I used to be more concerned since C is an only child and I really didn’t want him to be a spoilt only child. But I have now come to the conclusion that we just make too big a deal out of this. There are too many generalizations that control our life and this is just one of them.

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